The Amused Musings of a Smiling God
by Nilahxapiel
Summary: Years later, Ryuk stews on the notion that Light Yagami maybe hadn't been a sociopath at all. Drabble.


**The Amused Musings of a Smiling God**

Years later, Ryuk stews on the notion that Light Yagami maybe hadn't been a sociopath at all. Drabble.

* * *

" _The credit belongs to those who are actually in the arena, who strive valiantly; who know the great enthusiasums, the great devotions, and spend themselves in a worthy cause; who at best know the triumph of high achievement; and who, at worst, if they fail, fail while daring greatly, so that their place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat."_ _  
_― Theodore Roosevelt

* * *

Perhaps it was because he sort of missed the guy. Maybe _that_ was what the thought crossed his mind. It wasn't unusual for him to think back to what he now considered to be the 'Good Old Days' but he usually didn't linger on scrutiny.

Usually he'd just recall the fun he'd had and sigh pleasantly, smiling his ever-present smile.

Thinking too hard on things wasn't fun, perhaps even less so than gambling. After all, gambling was still a game (mindless and overdone, but still a game) and thinking too hard was _basically_ studying. Just watching those two human minds work had almost been painful at times—no, Ryuk much preferred a thoughtless existence.

But this particular notion had been a slimy, sneaky one.

He wasn't a genius and he didn't care enough about it to actually _work_ to define what Light was or was not. What he _did_ had interested him, but who he was as a— _as a person_?

Gross.

Even so, the thought occurred to him, and once it had done so, he could not shoo it abruptly away.

He remembered it all clearly, even decades later. Even when Kira was, at best, a stirring chapter in every history book. At worst, it was the God-figure of a creepy little cult that didn't do much of anything except be 'good, hard-working citizens'. They sang stories and tried to do good deeds and condemned others. Pretty much a group of boring do-gooders and full-time hypocrites.

Okay, okay, maybe that wasn't _all_ they did. Every once in a while, they'd kill a criminal or two, but they were usually arrested within weeks. Many of them turned themselves in, or spoken openly about dedicating the murder to Kira-sama himself. KIRA-SAMA. What a _hoot._

Some of them even took their own life to repent, or whatever. _Bor-ing._

No one had been as interesting as Light had in the years after his death, not even the few copycats that he'd dropped his Note for. It had become a bit of a game, actually—every half a decade or two some Shinigami would get the bright idea to let a Death Note fall into the human world again ( _come on, guys, real original)_ but it never worked out quite as well as it had that time with Light.

Ryuk was thinking on their miserable stints with Shinigami powers when he realized where their failure lie.

They just didn't _care_ enough.

Which mean that...Light _had_ cared enough.

In the opinion of most pop psychologists—well, most humans in general nowadays- Kira had been a dead-eyed sociopath bent on world domination.

Ryuk knew better. Not that he _wanted_ to know better, really, because he _didn't_ care (but knowledge was there even if one resented it). If only Light could see how easy not caring was. He probably would have lived a little longer if he hadn't.

Anyway, yeah, Ryuk _knew_ better. He'd seen Light's eyes, like up close, and they were not at all dead.

There was light in them. LIGHT. What a strange but ultimately fitting name.

True, even L had liked to throw around the word 'evil' like it meant something ( _humans were famous were tossing around stupid words like that, vague yet absolute)_ , but those were petty human words that held no real truth. Actually, now that he thought about it, that was probably just L taunting Light again.

Evil. Come one. Eeeee _vil_. That didn't even sound like a real word.

Light had _been_ passion, pure and simple, the very definition of it. It had been irritating, but also entertaining, up until the last gasping plea for his life. Passionate about life even up to the inevitable end.

At some point Light had seemed annoyed that the Shinigami would imply that he didn't love his family. It had seemed ludicrous then, that he would entertain the probability of killing them and in the same breath.

But it hadn't been a malicious idea. It hadn't even been a hollow one. It had been because Light knew more than anyone that he had to –how had he put it?— _save the world._ It was such a childish dream. Almost sweet, in like, a sickening way.

It was an impossible task. It was really no wonder at all that he was so angry all the time. That his smiles were never quite genuine. Not when he cared so much and could do so little. Even with all of the Death Note's power, all of his brains and charms, he still hadn't –in the big picture—been able to do a damned thing.

Caring that much must be so _exhausting._ Ryuk felt lucky that he'd never been so fervent. Perhaps apples were close, but apples were inanimate,

And could Light have picked a more fickle lover? Justice, humanity, _good._ He'd been trying so desperately to catch smoke in his fists it was no wonder he came off as mad.

What a _child._

What an amusing child he had been.

HA. Now _he_ was the smoke. Nothing but untouchable memory. A pleasant one but altogether…pointless.

He has been such an optimist, he had faith in society that rivaled any human Ryuk had ever seen. Even in the end he'd had hope, in his own plan, in Teru, in Matsuda, in _Ryuk._ HA, in _him!_

A small giggle broke out through the prison of sharp white teeth.

Oh _man,_ did Ryuk laugh. Howled with it. A cackle that filled up his belly and would have had him gasping for air if he'd been breathing-inclined. He rolled and slapped the ground and only settled long after the dust he'd kicked up did.

* * *

Author's Note: Just something I've been thinking about lately.

Death Note the Musical has stirred my fandom soul, so I should be writing more here. You should go listen to all of the released songs on Youtube, if you haven't already. And probably again, if you have.

I've really missed Light and L, and the whole fandom really, so I rather hope it sticks. I'm inspired again. This was pretty stream-of-consciousness and I've never written in Ryuk's point of view before. As always, I'd love your feedback.

-Nilah


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